Posts Categorized: Parenting

Published on August 1, 2012 by Ashley

Parenting Under the Influence

I am sure we have all seen it, the parents at the BBQ having one too many drinks. Or how about yourself, too many beers on Fourth of July? How should drinking be handled when we have children? While they are awake is it okay or should they be asleep for the night?

I use to be a heavy drinker. My weekend nights (and even some weeknights) consisted of getting off work, getting ready and heading out for a night worth of drinking and partying. How times have changed! Since having my first son, Kellan, I slowly gave up alcohol. If my husband had our son or one of the grandparents I would try to spend a night with my friends and some drinks. Though it slowly began to become less and less of a fun time for me. This giant sense of responsibility and feelings on how I feel I should act now as a mother had taken over.

My beliefs have greatly changed over the years. I do not think it is appropriate for both my husband and myself to be drinking heavily at the same time. (And by heavily I don’t necessarily mean drinking a 12 pack each but rather heavily in the context that we weren’t sober enough to drive if needed.) What about after the kids go to bed, isn’t it ok to both be heavily drinking? In my opinion, no. I still think of the worst case scenario. What if someone gets sick in the middle of the night or needs to be rushed to the hospital? I can’t afford to be passed out or unable to drive in the event that one of my kids needs me.

Or what about being hung over the next day? It isn’t fair to my kids to spend a day with their mom and dad laying around since they drank too much the night before. Now granted some events will come up and you will end up drinking and getting a hang over. I have been there even since having kids, it happens sometimes. I do not think it is appropriate for parents of young children to have people over drinking until late at night more than half of the week. I also don’t think that just because it is a holiday or an event of some sort means you should have to have alcohol. Is that what we want to teach our kids? Associate drinking with every good time?

How do you feel? Are you okay with weekend drinking and having young kids?

Published on July 26, 2012 by Renee

Breastfeeding While in Uniform: Scandal

Many of you may have heard of this scandal a few months back. Two women did a photo shoot where they breastfed their babies while in uniform. You can read more about it here. I know it’s old news but I wanted to talk about it since it affects a lot of us not only as mothers but also as military spouses.

I have a hard time picking a stance on this issue. On the one hand I applaud it because I’m currently breastfeeding my almost seven month old son and I hate how there’s such a stigma against breastfeeding nowadays when it’s the most natural thing in the world. Don’t get me started, I could write a whole other blog post about that.

On the other hand the women took pictures while breastfeeding in uniform and in the military there are rules about what you can and can’t do in uniform. You’re not supposed to chew gum, talk on a cell phone, or hold hands with your spouse so what makes breastfeeding any different?

The difference for me is that breastfeeding is providing your child with food. Would they have been as ridiculed if they had done a photo shoot while bottle-feeding their children? Probably not.

I always use a cover when I breastfeed in public. But if my child were hungry and I had no other option I’d whip a boob out in public and feed him. I’m not going to deny my child food in order to make someone else feel comfortable.

I’m not going to say whether I think they should breastfeed in uniform or not. But I will say that they probably shouldn’t have done a photo shoot while doing it. Especially since the photo shoot was for a campaign to bring awareness about breastfeeding and they should have known it would be seen by many people and had the potential to spark controversy. Unless controversy is what they were going for in which case objective achieved.

How do you feel about these women breastfeeding while in uniform?

Published on July 23, 2012 by Renee

How to Save Money by Making Your Own Baby Food!

Every mom knows that having a baby can put a huge dent in the family coffers. Fortunately with a little time and effort you can lessen that dent by making your own baby food instead of buying prepackaged food.

Let me first break down the difference. I do have to note that I live in Hawaii so my savings margin is less because produce tends to be more expensive here unless it’s local.

I compared two of the foods my son eats the most of: butternut squash and sweet potato. For both the squash and the sweet potato the prepackaged food came out to 14.3 cents per ounce.

The fresh food is harder to measure but I freeze it in ice cube trays and one ice cube is roughly one ounce so that’s how I measured it. The sweet potato came out to 8 cents an ounce and the squash came out to 12.9 cents an ounce. The squash is a little higher because it came from California.

Making your own baby food is really easy. First you cook the food. For both the squash and the sweet potato I bake it. The sweet potato gets wrapped in tin foil and the squash gets cut in half, cut side down on a cookie sheet. I bake both for 40 minutes at 400 degrees, sometimes longer if it’s a particularly large one.

Once the vegetable is cooked, you just scoop out the insides and put it into a food processor or a blender. Process until nice and creamy. You don’t want there to be any chunks left.

After pureeing, spoon the puree into ice cube trays. You want to make sure you have ice cube trays with a lid. I got mine at the PX, they’re the oxo brand that has a lid that slides off.

Leave in the ice cube trays until completely frozen. Once the puree is completely frozen I run a little water over the back, pop the cubes out, and place them in a freezer bag labeled with the food and the date. Make sure you mark what type of food it is because a lot of foods look similar once pureed.

See? Making your own baby food is super easy and it saves you money. Let me know some of your tips for saving money when you have kids!

Published on July 17, 2012 by Tabitha

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

The countdown has begun! Lists are made. Stores are packed with anxious shoppers trying to score the best deals on the hottest items. Everyone is frantic, making sure everything is prepared for that absolutely glorious day you have been longing for all summer! The first day of school!

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with my daughter and exploring this wonderful island we live on; however being able to get a pedicure, hit the commissary and accomplish something, anything ALONE does have its advantages. I only have one kiddo to lug around and I swear she can bend time and space. She has the uncanny ability to turn even the quickest, “just gonna run in” stop into at least a 20 minute expedition. Lewis and Clark made it back to St. Louis quicker than I can get out of Wal-mart. I couldn’t even imagine how some mommy’s do it with two, three or (gasp) more children in tow! These women should be nominated for saint-hood immediately, if not sooner! Not only does back to school time mean you get all your errands and to-do’s done faster but that also means a little “me” time for mommy. I’ll admit it; during that first week of school I’ve spent an entire day relaxing on the couch doing nothing, just to savor the sweet silence and not hearing “Momma!” every time I form a coherent train of thought.

Let’s not forget about the routine that back-to-school brings. I don’t know about you, but my household always functions better and seems happier when we are on a schedule. Take bedtime for example. I find myself a bit lax with bedtime during the summer. I mean if there is no reason to get up at 6 a.m why not let the little bugger stay up a little later and sleep in a bit? Ah yes, the Russian roulette that all parents play with the bedtime/sleeping-in ratio. Sure, it all sounds good in theory, but by extending bedtime here and there my little one does get a bit cranky on days we do have to get up early for a commitment, and it is more difficult for her to fall asleep when her bedtime varies.

There are drawbacks to back-to-school time as well. Getting the kids back into a homework routine can be rough. I was afraid of a complete and total erasure of my daughter’s brain over the summer. Visions of Agents J and K from the Men in Black agency rolling in with their cool toys and making my daughter forget she ever learned to read in Kindergarten danced through my head. So, being the concerned and slightly neurotic mommy that I am, I enrolled her in Harvard’s Summer Internships for Undergraduates. When I was informed, rather rudely by the way, that this program was only offered to students actually attending college at Harvard, I went with the next best thing for my future first grader, the summer reading program at our local library. Just to ensure I kept up with the Harvard curriculum I also used a math workbook to keep up her skills. Back to school usually coincides with back to extracurricular activities as well…scout meetings, dance classes, sports practices and Saturday games. Even with every Smartphone calendar and scheduling app, it’s still easy to over-schedule and over-involve yourself and your family.

This time of year we can use all the help we can get. If you’ve got some words of wisdom or success stories that worked for your family, please share them! I found this great list of tips to help get us back in the groove of school time:

http://www.napo-gpc.org/blog/2011/08/15-tips-for-getting-back-into-the-school-routine/

Whew, my head is spinning thinking about it all. Back-to-school may never overtake Christmas as the most wonderful time of the year, but I will still count down the days and relish that first week of uninterrupted shopping and self-pampering before reality sets in! Happy Holidays!

Published on July 13, 2012 by Mari

Military Teens and Moving

Moving around is tough. You (usually) have to plan, research, pack, clean, adjust – the list goes on. When you’re in the military, whether you’re the sponsor or the dependent, moving is inevitable. It becomes a part of your lives, as well as your kids’.

We have been in Hawaii since January 2011. It was probably the hardest transition we’ve had thus far. The main reason was because it took a tough toll on my teenaged daughter. The school she had to go to was mostly local and even though my daughter is part Polynesian, the local kids did not accept her because she was not “truly local.” Since she looked local, the military kids didn’t accept her, either. They overheard her say she was Samoan once, so they either kept their distance or blatantly disrespected her on a daily basis.

Seeing my daughter sad and miserable was maddening. She tried to put on a strong front, but her grades began to fall (she had always been on honor roll) and she started to miss school, insisting she was not feeling well. At first, I thought she was being a typical teenager, but then I noticed how unhappy she was. I decided that I would look into other options for her.

Private school quickly became a lost cause. We just could not afford it. Charter schools were too far or already at full capacity. Fortunately, I became friends with an Army wife (we are Navy) who offered to let me use her address so that my daughter could attend school on post. 98% of the kids were military, so no one was ever considered “new” for too long. My daughter seemed thrilled at the idea, so I went ahead and switched schools. It meant that I would have to drive farther every day, which also meant I had to wake my one year old up earlier, but it was worth it to see my teenager happy.

The change I saw in my daughter was remarkable. She was back to her happy self and regained her self-confidence. I had no idea that being around other military would impact her so much. Neither did she. She would come home and tell me about how often the kids moved around. She came to appreciate how well her peers adjusted to change. Yes, she acknowledged that it sucked to move around so much, but at the end of it all, she knew she would be grateful for the different experiences each move brought. Even though her initial school experience in Hawaii was hard, it made her a stronger individual and led her to a new school that she thoroughly enjoyed.

We are scheduled to leave Hawaii next summer. I am personally relieved that we will at least be moving when she completes 9th grade. My husband and I both learned (the hard way) how important it is to scout a place before you move there. When we came to Hawaii, we just went on what other people said and minimum information provided online. The next time we move, we will make sure to do as many of the following things that we can:

Visit the area beforehand – This isn’t always possible, however, if you can make it out to the place you’re supposed to move to beforehand – DO IT!
Trust your GUT – I think I pretty much convinced myself that Pearl City was a great place to live. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a decent area, but it’s not a place I would want my teenage daughter to walk around alone OR with friends. I don’t even think I wanted my husband walking around alone at night….
Reach out – I had no idea how much military support there was out here. Since my family has roots here, I didn’t think it would be an issue “blending” in Hawaii, but I wish I had utilized some sort of military advice outlet about moving to the island. Do not be afraid to seek out information and opinions. It helps!
Expect the worst, hope for the best – Yes, this sounds terrible, but let me explain. I thought that since my mother is Samoan, my daughter would have no problem making friends and fitting in. I also thought my husband would be around a lot more. I was wrong on both fronts, which made the adjustment period even harder. My daughter was miserable and my husband was away so much, my neighbors started to wonder if I was really married! Once I took on the mindset that “If he’s here, it’s a bonus”, life got easier.
Call the school and speak with staff – My daughter’s teachers at the first school she went to were pretty interesting. Of the seven teachers she had, she really only liked one. I remembered when I emailed her science teacher about a grade; the teacher seemed REALLY surprised that I was taking the time to discuss her grades. The office staff seemed extremely lackadaisical, though there was one receptionist who was very nice. This also goes hand in hand with your gut feeling.

The fact that my daughter will be entering 10th grade the next time we move scares me. I fear that we will get re-assigned in the middle of her senior year. I know that I will do whatever I can to ensure she finishes her senior year with her friends and at the school she is happy with, and my husband is supportive of that. Although moving around is tough on our kids, as long as they have our support and understanding, they will look back on all this with a smile and a kind of wisdom that cannot be matched by anyone else who has not been in their shoes.

Published on July 4, 2012 by Ashley

While I Was Away!

I am back!

After traveling for 5 days back home to Arizona and Vegas for a bachelorette party, I am finally home, rested and back into my daily routine. Before I get into everything with my trip I first have to give credit where it is due. I knew my husband, Tommy, could handle anything. (He was overly confident too as I am sure you read…) I spent the days leading up to my trip preparing everything to make it as smooth as possible without me around. I had enough groceries and goodies to keep them happy for even longer than my trip. I wrote out the baby’s schedule and hinted at fun things they could do to pass time. I convinced myself that even if they were bored out of their minds while I was gone, they weren’t going to die, would be fed and loved even without me around. I deserved it, right?! A break and some much deserved time away after two back to back combat deployments, countless training days and 3 births alone in 3 years.

And I am glad I made the decision! I came home to 4 happy little boys and a house that wasn’t burnt down. Tommy even had all the Scentys plugged in to give it that extra homey feeling (I’m a Scentsy consultant). Tommy made it to all the soccer practices and even soccer team photos, did all the dishes and even completely cleaned up after an “explosion” from the baby. I could not ask for a better husband! Some women complain that they can barely leave their husbands to get their hair done and I just left mine for 5 days with no complaints at all from him! (Or me!) Job well done Tommy! You deserve all the credit!

I started my trip off on a red eye to Arizona, our hometown. I spent my first day completely loaded with activities and plans. I had plans for every meal out! (Too many restaurants back home that aren’t here in Hawaii) the second day I spent visiting my grandparents, out to lunch with a friend and her son and a concert that night with my sister. I was leaving early the next morning for Vegas so after the concert was pretty low key. I had to have one last bad meal though before I went to bed and I wish I never did!

Tommy and I have been implementing an eat clean lifestyle for just over the last month, thanks to Maria Maciocia. We have cut out about 80% of processed foods, sugars and “bad” carbs from our diet. Yes, there have been bumps and hurdles but we overall have made the change. We also started including Beachbody’s Shakeology into our diet everyday. While on my trip I was without my daily chocolate Shakeology shake and now indulging on foods that I normally don’t eat. Boy do I regret it now! I woke up Friday morning (the morning I was to leave on a plane to Vegas) with the worst stomach ache I have had in the longest time. I almost considered changing my flight because I honestly didn’t believe I would make it on my flight. I somehow made it on the one hour flight to Vegas but spent the majority of Friday super sick. If it wasn’t for the fact that in Vegas were some of my oldest friends all the way out from Texas than I definitely wouldn’t have made it. Luckily after some much needed rest, water and crackers I pulled it together to join in the festivities we had planned for the evening. I never realized how well my body ran on clean foods until I loaded it up with a bunch of bad ones and truly learned their effects. I knew I had been losing weight, my skin was clearing up and my energy dramatically increased but I never knew how much it had repaired my insides until I tested myself with the bad foods. Lesson learned!

While walking the strip in Vegas at night you definitely see some interesting things. Street performers both amazing and repulsive, various promoters trying to suck you into clubs and strip clubs, drunk people, naked girl pictures and just a whole lot of inappropriateness. Amongst all the craziness (fun for us adults taking a break) I saw many, not just a few, but many children out walking the strip. I am not talking about at 10 in the morning, I am talking about after midnight with tons of highly intoxicated people (including myself). This brought up the question of not only why would someone take their kids to The Vegas strip at night but why would they be walking them around in smokey casinos at all? I have asthma, I hate being around smoke myself, I would never drag my kid into a casino. Would you? Would you bring your child to walk the strip? Maybe only at certain hours or never at all?

Published on June 30, 2012 by Tom

Operation: Hubby Hi-Jack (Day Three)

This is my follow-up to Operation: Hubby Hi-Jack (Day Two).

Today, I learned something new: The 7-day store wasn’t designed for double strollers. That was harder than a land nav course.

This is a big deal though. Really! You see, I have this overwhelming anxiety of taking all four of my children out to stores by myself. - shudder - Just the idea of going to the store with four of them is incredibly overwhelming. In my mind, the minute I take them there the worst-case scenario melt-down will ensue, followed by the end of the world. Or something. I don’t know, but today was different.

Published on June 29, 2012 by Tom

Operation: Hubby Hi-jack (Day Two)

Ashley packed her bags and headed to Arizona on Tuesday. This meant I was in charge of four little boys ages 4, 3, 2, and 3 months. She left me with a laundry list of “things I should know”, meal preparations, the baby’s eating schedule, our oldest’s soccer schedule, and so on. I basically rolled my eyes. I’ve been through two combat deployments and fortunately, I’m on leave right now so I’ve got all the time in the world. Finally, I’d be able to show her how easy her side of the responsibility really was. Seriously – how hard could this be?

Published on June 26, 2012 by Ashley

How Young is Too Young?

Everyday I see little kids outside playing alone. No parent in sight. Trust me, I look. Most of the time I am in shock by how young they are. Living on base gives people a false sense of security. Things can still happen. Your child could be hit by a car and for us if your child wandered far enough they may even decide it’d be fun to play at the beach. It brings up the question, how young is too young?

Published on May 12, 2012 by Ashley

Every Mom Should Be Offended By This

If you haven’t heard about this story, the photo on the cover of Time Magazine almost says it all. All of the military mom forums I’m apart of are buzzing about whether this is breastfeeding at its best or parenting at its worst. In my opinion, the photo was taken a little out of context and is obviously being used to stir the pot. The photo depicts mother of two, Jamie Lynn Grumet, breastfeeding her son Aram, who turns 4 next month. Aram is photographed standing on a stool, glancing at the camera while he feeds. Beyond the cover shot, the title of the article is just as provocative: “Are You Mom Enough?” as if to say that mothers who don’t practice this method are “not quite mom enough”.

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Posts Categorized: Parenting