Author: Maria

Hi! I'm Maria! I'm a 24 year old military spouse! My husband is in the USMC, and is the love of my life! However, I'm better known as the born and bred Scottish lass who transformed their life through the power of health and fitness! Be sure to visit my website to read more about my transformation and your daily dose of fitspiration! :) http://www.cwmfitness.com ♥

Published on July 23, 2012 by Maria

Speak Up! Petition Against OSMW & Cyber Bullying

Did I open a can of worms or WHAT?!

So this is a follow up on the blog post about “Overly Sensitive Military Wives”.

I understand I touched on quite a controversial topic. I didn’t realize it would create such a wild fire!

I have to admit I have been quite “humored” by their responses on my blog post and their Facebook page. Overly Sensitive Military Wives (OSMW) and their fans have only proven my point – they promote cyber bullying, and have absolute no shame in the matter. They are just as bad as the military stereotypes they say bring shame to the military community. I now feel I have a duty to continue with what I started…

As I stated in my blog post before, I am not against the OSMW jokes … I am against the “playground” they ENCOURAGE for people to practice their bully tactics. The OSMW do very little to moderate their followers’ comments and posts. As a person who knows what it’s like be bullied, indirectly or NOT, then I feel that I HAVE RESPONSIBILITY to speak out for those people who have been genuinely hurt by these posts. This has gone beyond “The Freedom of Speech” act, and what they don’t realize is that there are also many, many, many acts in place AGAINST bullying. Those acts are taken FAR MORE seriously than “The Freedom of Speech” act.

Let’s take a quick look at the facts I am so strongly against…

People have shared their opposed feelings with the page owners, and OSMW will only make a point of singling them out by quoting their messages of concern and making fun of them.
Encouraging fans to single people out by posting a real life photograph of someone that fit their jokes and then making a laughing stock out of them.
Encouraging fans to share disgusting opinions and comments about certain people that is beyond the line of being acceptable and humerous.
OSMW have the option to tailor their page so that people cannot post certain things on their page but they don’t.
If OSMW were professional and as entertaining as a real comedian, then they would ADMIT to their mistakes and take responsibility for people getting hurt.
Posting a few charitable posts does not mean you have created a balance of power – if it did then there wouldn’t be people like me willing to take it further than just a blog post sharing my opposed opinion.

I will STICK to my points because I know for every one of their fans, there are two more people opposed to them…because that’s Karma and it’s groups like this that make the world a difficult place to live in.

You will find attached a petition against their page, and with the support of Basewives, I WILL put an end to this, so that for the people who see the seriousness in this can feel at ease knowing that there is something there to protect them against this form of cyber bullying.

If you agree with what I have to say then please sign the petition on this page and help end the trend of Overly Sensitive Military Wives and others like them who find entertainment in cyber bullying!

Thank you for reading, and please note that any mean, nasty, or bully-like messages I receive from the fans of OSMW will only prove my point further and be used to support my petition.

Published on July 21, 2012 by Maria

Overly Sensitive Military Wives – NOTHING but Cyber BULLIES!

Update: We’ve received tons of support to start a petition against Cyber Bullying. Read my follow up and sign our petition to prevent online harassment.

I’m about to give a Facebook Page WAY MORE credit than it’s worth here! You’ve probably heard of it…

Overly Sensitive Military Wives (OSMW)

But WAIT before you all rush off to check out what this page is all about, I suggest you read my full post FIRST!

I was first introduced to this page several weeks ago by a fellow M.S and I was immediately horrified at their awful sense of humor. Maybe it’s because I too am an OSMW, or perhaps maybe it’s because I have compassion, empathy, a heart and I see how this is a joke gone WAY too far!

Basically OSMW is a page dedicated to stereotypes revolving around military wives. Whether you’re overweight, slim, work, don’t work, have kids, or don’t have kids, there is a stereotype to fit every female spouse in the military. However, they particularly target the overweight military spouse stereotype. Doesn’t sound like too much harm right?

Well yeah I thought the same thing, I even laughed at a few posts seeing a part of the “old me” in them! But that wasn’t until I saw some of the comments left under their posts from their followers. How about we cut straight to the punch and I’ll give you an example…

Maybe that wasn’t in bad taste ENOUGH! Perhaps a more graphic post will help you understand how this a “joke” gone way too far…

After showing you these photos I don’t even feel like I need to elaborate much more on this subject…but in case you didn’t notice then read some of the comments posted by their followers. It’s clearly become an open space for coward’s bullies to sit behind the safety of their computers and revel in their wicked, cruel and mean behavior.

How the creators of this page can feel comfortable at what they are CLEARLY encouraging is beyond my understanding! I’ve heard it is in fact run by fellow M.S. So I can only imagine that they are cold-hearted bullies like the followers they attract. As far as I’m aware they do very little to moderate their page, only reminding followers not to make fun of children

But you know that’s not even the worst part! They ENCOURAGE their followers to post real life photos of military spouse fitting the stereotype. For example the other week, one girl posted a photo of an overweight military spouse standing in line at the PX. She said she wanted to puke looking at her. I am beyond appalled to think this is what people do in their spare time, and do they not realize they are “playing with fire”? …

What if that exact spouse who was standing in line at the PX decided to visit OSMW that evening, and she was to find her picture posted on the wall of this public page. How humiliating and degrading is THAT!? … And believe me it’s not the first time that I’ve heard a spouse has seen her own photo posted on the wall! But imagine this, what if this spouse was having a really bad day, perhaps they just lost their husband in combat, and they then come to find their photo was captured and posted on this page the same day – that could be the one thing to “top” of her day, perhaps leading her to do something she might later regret. Is that the kind of thing OSMW want to be responsible for?

To be perfectly honest I’m surprised that OSMW hasn’t been completely shut down by some higher authority in the military. Clearly the moderators of Facebook don’t care, but I would like to think someone does. A large part of me feels like reporting them myself! ESPECIALLY when the comments I read on their posts every day certainly strike an “Overly Sensitive” feeling inside of me that relate back to the same feelings when I was bullied. I can’t help but feel this page is nothing but advocating a playground for “Cyber Bullies” – THAT makes me want to puke all over my screen!

Do you feel that this page is a joke gone too far? Share your opinions in the comment section below!

Published on July 21, 2012 by Maria

Does your husband look at OTHER women?

All right, I’m going to admit… I’m touching on a raw topic here! I’m sure I’ll get all sorts of daggers thrown at me, but hear me out o.k!?

How many of you answered “YES!” to the question in the subject line? – “Does your husband look at OTHER women?”

If you try and tell me “NO! Never!” then you’ve been fooled, because at the end of the day it’s in their nature to look at other women! I even see my own husband do it from time to time! Plus I know for a fact that when all our husbands get together at work, they all joke and share their stories about the hot women they spotted recently! It’s just what guys do!

But hey let’s be real here…guys are not in the only ones! Women look too! I was at Six Flags theme park the other week and my husband caught me staring at the 6-pak on the dude dressed up as “Mr Tumnus” from “The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe”! haha!

However… does this mean my husband and I are not attracted to each other? Does this mean we are not faithful to one another? … No! Absolutely not! We are hopelessly in love with each other and very much attracted to each other. We trust each other 100%. In fact … my weight-loss journey, has only strengthened our relationship and we are even MORE attracted to EACH OTHER than we ever were before.

You are probably wondering what I’m getting at here …

Well prior to losing weight, I was very uncomfortable in my body, and had very little confidence in all areas of my life. I mean I wouldn’t even get dressed in front my husband! I would lock the bathroom door, or turn the lights off so he couldn’t see. I would often avoid social events because I was afraid of people judging me. This put a huge wall between us, and I’m not going to lie, this was very difficult for him to accept, and created many arguments between the two of us.

But not only that, I would have the audacity to make my husband feel guilty whenever I caught him looking at the opposite sex. I would leave our relationship feeling strained for the rest of the day, making sly digs and remarks about his faith in the relationship, when all he was doing was “looking”.

I’m sure many of you are confused, and you are probably feeling like my husband was in fact in the wrong! But at the end of the day, he was carrying out a natural human instinct – something that both male and females do every day, married or not. The reality is that I was expressing insecurities about myself, and blaming him for it!

However, It was NOT my husband’s responsibility to make me feel better about myself by not looking at other women – that’s not solving any problems about my insecurities. It was MY responsibility to take control and make myself better by FINDING confidence through health & fitness.

So I did exactly that. Many months later of hard work, sweat, tears and mind games I finally found peace within myself! I was blessed with confidence, satisfaction, happiness and a stronger marriage! I am no longer phased or jealous by catching my husband looking at other women, I can get dressed confidently in front of my husband, and I don’t think twice about social events, because I am now secure enough in my own mind, body and spirit.

My husband is extremely grateful for my decision to commit to this life-changing journey. Not for his “satisfaction” but for the survival of our relationship. We both wonder if I hadn’t made that choice to change things for my sanity, then would we have survived the turmoil that my insecurities produced in our relationship? I owed it to myself FIRST, but as a married woman, I owed it to our relationship too…

I know many women, not just military spouses, suffer from the same insecurities I once did, but as military spouses I feel we have a GREATER duty to be confident in ourselves.

We are the ones who have to survive many lonely days. We are the ones who have to make the time our husbands are around worth every minute. We are the ones who have to have the confidence to deal with difficult situations alone when he is gone. We are the ones who have to bring happiness into our children’s lives when they miss their daddy. – That’s a huge responsibility, and what better way to get through it all, than putting our health and fitness first! The endorphins are going to pump through your veins, and you will feel like a weight has (literally) been lifted of you shoulders. The other obstacles and struggles in your life are not going to feel half as challenging.

My dad always said “Everything falls into place when you have your health!” … And you know what?! He was SO right!

BUT, you cannot wait for it to come to you…you have to take the leap of faith and find it for yourself!

So what do you think? Are you ready to join me? Are you ready to take responsibility? If not for yourself, then can you do it for AT-LEAST the health and future of your family?!

Published on July 13, 2012 by Maria

A Weight-Loss Success Story WORTH Reading!

Military Spouse Transformation Story

Hi! I’m Maria, and as a participating author on basewives.com, I thought it would be best to introduce myself to my readers before I begin my blogging contribution covering various topics primarily revolving around health & fitness!

Now you might be wondering why health & fitness will be my main topic of conversation around here … Well you see, I used to once weigh over 200 pounds almost 2 years ago! Not only that but I grew up overweight from a very young age, and had never felt what it was like to be fit, healthy, confident and happy. However, that all changed when I stumbled on “The Eat-Clean Diet” by Tosca Reno. Little did I know that this “diet”, or I should say “lifestyle” would actually be the start of something magnificent – a life changing epic journey! After 11 months of hard-work, struggles, hurdles, twists and turns, I could finally say “I DID IT!” when I reached my first goal of 60 pounds fat loss!

Although, the journey didn’t stop there…

I went on to compete in a bikini competition in Hawaii’s largest bodybuilding competition, surprised my husband at his homecoming with a “new wife” after 8 long months in Afghanistan and I now strive to help others find the same success and balance in their lives – ESPECIALLY in the military community! (Read my full transformation story!)

I’ve listened to too many women express (including myself) how they think putting themselves LAST is BEST for the function of their family OR they think that eating junk food is a requirement so they can pay the bills! Believe me when I say I have heard every excuse in the book, but as a living and breathing success story I now have an answer to every single one of them!

So here is what’s going to happen…I am going to show you that living the dream CAN be reality, because aren’t you sick of the horrid stereotypes that circulate around what we spouses look like on the outside? We don’t deserve to be a laughing stock and we don’t deserve a last priority stance after everything we do to keep our families together. At the very LEAST, we deserve to feel important, happy, confident, successful and proud! Am I not right?!

Alright, I’m ready to inspire and change some lives! Let’s do this! See you next time … and if you have a question, please feel free to ask in the comment section below!

Much love to you,
Maria Maciocia ☺